Don't make out with my wife yet
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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