38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
