he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
