big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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