can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
