Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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