My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
