the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
