Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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