Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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