Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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