So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
