If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
