Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
