The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
