I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
