I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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