so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
