he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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