the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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