well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
