He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
