I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
