Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
