Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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