I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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