His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
