I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
