next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
