She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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