my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
