That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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