I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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