it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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