They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
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MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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