Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
