i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize