I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
