I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
