Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
