Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
