My room smells like vodka and shame
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
