would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
