i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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