do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
