she was so not down for the gang bang
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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