are you still at the devil's house?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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