Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
