She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
