On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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