Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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