Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize