come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
