Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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