I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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