my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
