Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize