I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
