But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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